September 19, 2000 - I.K.E. Club Goes To Hell

Two guys from the I.K.E. Club of Cedoux die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Cedoux, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Cedoux, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh." This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Cedoux and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two from Cedoux reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Cedoux so we've just got to have a cookout when the weather's THIS nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan, and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two from Cedoux. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!! The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???" The guys from Cedoux look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know. If hell freezes over, it must mean the Roughriders have won the Grey Cup!"

September 2, 2000 - New Yacht for the Men Members

It has been suggested that the ladies should remain in their 'old' club house... well we the lady members suggest that the men move in/onto the I.K.E. Club yacht that was purchased some time ago by the I.K.E. Club president for life Julian Bukowski.

In recent months he has been explaining to our membership how wonderful the Yacht performs. Maybe it is time for him to once again go for a sail.

The lady members will gladly supply the president with a bilge pump.

September 1, 2000 - Letter to the editor

Dear editor,

This is a letter to the female members of the I.K.E. Club of Cedoux.

To whomever painted the word "Ladies" on the I.K.E. Clubhouse, this is really pushing the issue by defacing my barn with a permanent paint.

The club will be renovated in the future to include kennels, washrooms, etc. In the meantime the ladies will have to use their old clubhouse (which has been braced up) to paint up as they see fit.

I hope everyone cooperates and things will work out fine.

Yours truly,

Julian Bukowski, President for Life for the I.K.E. Club