August 4, 2000 - President for Life Speechless

Vice President for Life, Winston Bukowski announces the arrival of his junior advisor. Abigail Bukowski will assist the Vice President for Life with his day to day responsibilities and provide a Women's perspective to the vice presidency. Due to the overwhelming support for the vice president from the ladies of the club, he felt compelled to make this addition.

However, Winston realizes that the president for life must approve her status as a member so he will be traveling with his new assistant for his next visit to Weyburn. He welcomes any support from the current membership to assure HER membership approval.

August 2, 2000 -This is a True Story !

Many may not be aware of it, but Julian has a terrible passion for baked beans. He loves them, he adores them, he yearns for them. But they always caused him a great deal of embarrassment shortly after eating them. The reaction of his body to the beans is swift and terrible to behold.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he realized she might be even more embarrassed and humiliated by his addiction to baked beans. He decided to make the supreme sacrifice and give up his beloved baked beans. A short time later they were married. Some months later, on his way home to Cedoux, his car broke down. He was not too far from home so he decided to leave the car and walk the rest of the way. He passed a neighbor's house and decided to call his wife and tell her that he would be late for supper. As he entered the house, the smell of baked beans overwhelmed him. He still had several miles to go, and decided that he could walk off any aftereffects before reaching home. His neighbors happily let JB eat. Before he knew it, he had eaten three large plates of baked beans. Even as he left the cafe, the effects began to be felt. As he grew closer to home, the frequency and forcefulness diminished greatly, and he felt reasonably safe.

Just as he reached his home, however, he felt a great rumbling inside and was seized with a terrible urgency. As he waited just outside his front door to release one last effort, his wife threw open the door. She excitedly exclaimed, "Darling, I have made the most wonderful surprise dinner for you." She blindfolded him and led him to his chair at the head of the table. Just as she was ready to remove the blindfold, the phone rang. She made him promise not to peek until she returned and went to answer the phone.

When she had gone, he seized the opportunity, shifted his weight to one leg and loudly broke wind. It was not only loud, but as ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he took his napkin and began to fan the air about him. He just started feeling better when he felt another urge. He again raised one leg and let her rip. It sounded like a tuba and smelled so bad that he started gagging. He fanned until his arms ached. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another powerful urge. He shifted his weight to the other leg and let go. This was the prizewinner. The windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping one ear on the conversation in the hallway, he continued like this for the next 15 or 20 minutes, fanning away each time with his napkin. When the sounds of farewells indicated the end of the telephone conversation, he neatly laid his napkin in his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife returned to the room. Apologizing for talking so long, she asked if he had peeked. After assuring her that he had not, she removed the blindfold, revealing the dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party!